Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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