he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
