You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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