Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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