I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize