tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
