I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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