we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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