Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
