you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize