If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
