HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
