I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
