You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
