the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize