Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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