I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need help removing her.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
