You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize