he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
