Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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