I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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