Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
