Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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