Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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