Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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