Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
