At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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