there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
