He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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