these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
