I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
