Dual....:-)
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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