So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
