My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
