rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize