My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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