she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
