I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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