Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
