FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
