your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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