I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize