Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
