Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
