covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
