Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
