Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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