i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
