haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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