We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
