I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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