smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
