I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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