Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I smell stomach acid.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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