too bad you live with your parents still
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Mom said you looked used
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
