Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
