Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
