do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
