lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
